We spend most of our younger years trying desperately to avoid getting pregnant
This actually sends a powerful message to the body that we don’t want to be pregnant. This message is further reinforced by all the fear around teenage pregnancy that is fed to us from parents and teachers when we are growing up. Who knew that all those negative thoughts in our head would be sending negative messages to our bodies too.
The strongest force in every human being is that the body has to match what is going on in the mind. It literally has to act in a way that is consistent with our thinking, it has no choice. Every thought you think has a physical reaction in the body. For example, if you are scared, the body automatically increases the heart rate as it prepares for fight or flight, sweat and nausea set in. Thoughts are things and have consequences in the body, good thoughts have good consequences in the body and negative thoughts eventually have negative consequences.
We link pleasure and pain to our experiences
When we experience pain, the brain searches very hard for the cause of it and then it stores that information and does everything to ensure we don’t go through that experience again. I suspect that this phenomenon is what is playing out in many cases of secondary infertility. This is because when a woman has a very traumatic, terrifying birth, the trauma is held in the body and the body decides there is no way I’m going through that ever again and makes it so, physically until the trauma is released.
When we experience pleasure the brain searches for the cause of the pleasure and stores the information, too. For example, if you have a pregnancy scare but are then feeling hugely relieved because your period showed up. This thought process can still influence you many years later.
The good news is, humans can choose what to link pain and pleasure to. Animals can’t choose to link pain to giving birth or being pregnant; humans are the only creatures who can do that. It is both a major advantage and an equal disadvantage. When you associate absolute pleasure with being pregnant and having a baby its an advantage. However, If your mind links pain to the thought of giving birth or losing your career after having a baby, it can work against you.
The mind holds on to outdated information if it’s been repeated often enough
Every time you took the pill, you sent a powerful message to your mind: I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want a baby. Every time you took the pill, inserted the cap, or used the condom, your brain got the message loud and clear. If you have ever experienced a pregnancy scare, you know that in that moment you linked absolute pain and fear to being pregnant.
Interestingly, underdeveloped countries generally have a much lower infertility rate than most of the developed world. One of the reasons for this is that they link pregnancy with pleasure, honour, and a sense of fulfilling their purpose. Young women expect, and are expected, to have a baby soon into their fertility years and they do.
Every thought you have is an instruction, a literal command to your body
Your body listens to and believes every word you say. In fact, it takes those words you so casually use as direct instructions. This means you can boost your fertility and improve your chances of conceiving, carrying and delivering a healthy baby just by thinking of it in a certain way that is more positive.
When you are trying to get pregnant, it’s easy to get into a mindset where you don’t want to get your hopes up. Your determination is willing you to get pregnant, but your fear is causing your imagination to see it failing.
If you want to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, you must focus on how you want it to be, never on how you don’t want it to be.
Keep your mind on what you want and off what you don’t want
Focus on what you want to move towards and accomplish. Never on the opposite, which is what you want to leave behind. This becomes easier as you find the flip side of every negative thought and use that instead. Whatever we focus on, we move towards. Whatever we focus on, we experience and feel. Whatever we focus on, we get more of, as it becomes more real to us.
If you focus on having an injection or the pressure in your ears during a flight, you can make it painful. However, if you focus on something else, you may not even notice the sensation.
I recommend you write down all your thoughts about pregnancy, babies and motherhood. Write out every negative thought that you have been led to believe about having a baby on one page. Then write out new more appropriate positive thoughts on the opposite page.
- My egg quality is poor because I’m over the age of 35
- I don’t know how to raise a baby, I might not be able to cope
- My eggs are young and impeccable. I have all the eggs I need and the most perfect resilient egg will become my child.
- I will learn how to raise my baby and cope perfectly well. Just like other new mothers and I will use all the help available to me.
Drop me a message and let me know how you get on.