Are you mothering YOU?

This is a question I ask my clients a lot.

What do I mean by mothering you?

Are you looking after your needs, as you would for a crying baby?

Taking the time you need to keep yourself balanced and happy on this journey to motherhood is so important.  Most of the time the answer is no, and I feel this is something that needs to change.

In order to become a mother, you need to be able to mother yourself first.  What that looks like is gonna be different for everyone.  But what I see so often is that women are keeping themselves busy as a distraction from the emotional pain of not being able to conceive.  An example of this is women who are obsessively cleaning their house as a distraction or working long hours at work.  This ends up causing stress which is then blocking their fertility.

The stress of trying to conceive is enough to stop you falling pregnant so looking after yourself is key.

They do say that:

“busyness is the sanctuary for those who do not want to feel”

It’s totally understandable that women are trying to distract themselves when trying to conceive, it’s human nature in fact.  But what if you could turn it around and see it as time for you to mother and nurture YOU instead.

Here are some ideas for mothering you:

1. Take time away from people who use up a lot of your energy, You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t need to tell them what you’re doing (though you can, this is completely fine too!).  Just put them and their messages or emails on the back burner for a while until you feel more ready to communicate again.  This doesn’t mean you are cutting them out.  You’re just looking after yourself.
2. Get a cleaner so you have more time for doing the things you love.
3. Listen to your favourite album from start to finish.
4. Put your phone in a drawer for an hour and read a book or an interesting article you’ve been saving for a while.
5. Start writing a journal so you can get any negative thoughts out of your head and onto the page.
6. Make time for a passion of yours, a hobby, something creative that really lights your fire ie: a pottery or photography course
7. Dance to your favourite song in the kitchen on full volume
8. Get a regular massage, facial or pedicure
9. Reach out and do something nice or kind for someone else. Make dinner for a friend having a hard time.  Buy some flowers for a parent or loved one.  Send a card to somebody you haven’t heard from in a while.
10. Read your favourite book or magazine in the bath. Don’t have a book on the go? Head over to your local library. Libraries are a retreat for us all.  You can find a corner and read or just people watch.
11. Organise a weekend away with some old friends who make you laugh and feel good
12. Schedule at least one hour a week of uninterrupted you-time doing something you love. Write it in your diary or on a calendar and stick to it.
13. Write 10 post-it notes with quotes or affirmations that move you
14. Book a spa day for you and a dear friend
15. Listen to a podcast about inspiring people
16. Take a country walk in the sun
17. Get a new hair cut/style
18. Do something you’ve been putting off for a long time. It will be hard, you will feel resistance, but you will rightly feel fantastic afterwards
19. Travel to an exotic destination that might be difficult to do with small children
20. Take a nap
21. Go out for brunch
22. Turn off notifications on your phone. Delete some apps.  Try muting your phone or putting it on airplane mode when you need some you time.
23. Get rid of five things you don’t need anymore. Create some space in your life for your baby to fit in.
24. Do some meal prep, be it making your dinner for that evening or making something you can put in the freezer, nourishing yourself is a huge act of self-care.
25. Forgive yourself. If you’re feeling crappy, if you just lost your cool with someone, if you haven’t done half of the things you wanted to, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself it’s okay, and you forgive yourself.  Say it out loud.  Make sure you get the message.
26. Breathe deeper for two minutes. More oxygen, more energy
27. Go somewhere safe, alone and force yourself to laugh out loud or just scream it out.
28. Pick or buy yourself some beautiful flowers just because you’re worth it!